Finally, I had made it. Strolling confidently into the hangar, I shed my helmet and survival gear to cheers from my fellow pilots congratulating me on becoming the Navy’s newest MH-53 Aircraft Commander. My oral board went great, I aced all the tests, and during the two-hour check ride I managed to impress the most notoriously detailed instructor pilot in the fleet. The stern and unforgiving Commanding Officer managed to crack a smile as he shook my hand, and gave his signature admonition, “Don’t f*#k it up.”
I was on top of the world. Months of self-doubt were instantly wiped away as I shook the hands of the senior Department Head pilots who doubted I could get it all done. It had been just over a year since my wife had moved out on the kids and me, and life had’t been very easy. Single parenthood is hard enough, without the added distraction of trying to qualify as an Aircraft Commander in an exceedingly complex military aircraft. I had met all the doubts with triumph. I didn’t just qualify, I crushed it.
Eight hours later, I was reduced to tears. This crowning achievement, the pinnacle of many pilot’s lives, was the furthest thing from my mind. The world had crashed down on top of me. It was midnight and I was at the children’s hospital hearing the doctor say the words no parent every wants to hear: “Your son has cancer.”
Nothing ever prepares you for it. No one ever expects it. It can’t ever be softened. It just is. Life simply says, “Though you’d had enough? Well, here. Take this too.”
Well, now I have to change my mind. I thought single parenthood was hard enough, without the added distraction of a qualifying in a military aircraft AND NOW having a child with cancer.
The diagnosis didn’t stop us. We all learned to grow a little more, each in our own ways, and did the only thing you can do in this situation; we took life one day at a time. The three girls learned how to be patient with their sick younger brother. He learned to be patient with all of us, even when the medicine made him crabby.
Everyone learned how to cook. Everyone learned how to clean. I learned how to braid hair, and how to listen without solving the problem. No one can say this life was ideal, but it was certainly better than it used to be.
And Then It Gets Better
Today, all of those children are well-functioning young adults with families of their own. I am remarried to a wonderful woman who helped the girls through some pretty exciting teenage years. The youngest is a cancer survivor, and is following in his father’s footsteps in the Navy.
All of these experiences have made us who we are, and preparing us for the lives we are living today.
These experiences and thousands more have equipped me with the patience and character to help you overcome anything.
I’m an Executive Coach focused on preparing executives and senior managers for vertical and lateral moves in the job market. Companies hire me to groom employees they’d like to promote, who are exceptional at their job function but require some additional leadership and interpersonal ‘soft skills’ necessary to lead at the next level.
I’m often hired by individuals directly, to ensure they’re perfectly positioned to take that next step in their career
As a Leadership Consultant, I use proven organizational development methodologies and change management practices to help business owners equip their organization for the market they’re in today, and prepare themselves to lead in the markets of the future.
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